BEHIND THE HEALING JUNKIE
THIS IS A STORY OF A JUNKIE.
This is a story about a junkie.
A story about how mindless eating consumed me
and the ongoing process of healing.
For most of my adult life I thought I was “health
conscious”. I ate what I believed to be a ‘clean’ diet.
I watched my portions, I steered clear of pork and
soda, carbs and red meat were the devil (which I
seldomly danced with), I worked out, participated in outdoor activities
and when I would binge on sweets, I would go ten times harder in the gym.
I was seemingly healthy but what was going on inside me told a different story; I was sick and I didn’t even know it. Oblivious. It didn’t dawn on me that I needed a change until multiple aspects of my life started to shift. The company I spent 5 years working for was closing, I started to become detached from my partner whom I’d been with for nearly 6 years and I graduated with a Fashion Degree that I wasn’t doing anything with. My life demanded a different version of myself. Instinctively, I changed my diet.
I decided I didn't want to go another moment feeling this way so I immersed myself in reading and dove head first down a rabbit hole of documentaries. I figured if I read/watched more, I’d be more likely to stumble across something I would resonate with...Forks Over Knives connected the dots for me.
That night I made the decision. July 1, 2015 was the day I went vegan.
I began juicing and developed new recipes for a variety of dishes. I switched over all my skincare and household products to natural, plant-based products. I even adapted a positive mental outlook and consciously started thinking better thoughts. I noticed the results in my appearance, energy output and attitude. Overall, I was operating at an optimal level.
Or so I thought.
Only after a year of being vegan, something felt off. Here I thought I was doing all I could to be as healthy as possible yet, I felt sick. I needed a blood test to validate what I was feeling because I couldn't fathom my “clean” diet being the issue. I made a doctor’s appointment anyway.
After spending over two hours at the doctor, my blood work came back perfect. I left more confused and puzzled than when I got there. What was I to do? I wasn’t going to eat meat again; at that point I was repulsed by it and I damn sure wasn’t going to waste my time on a second opinion. I thought I had reached the pinnacle of health and believed there was nothing more I could do to be healthier. I kept questioning, “what’s going on in my body?”
Back to the books I went.
I looked into vitamins and supplements but it didn’t seem feasible to take products that were full of fillers that would lose most of their potency before they even reached the shelf. Needless to say, I stayed vegan, hoping a miracle would happen. Really proactive, I know.
However, my miracle happened. I met Steven and Christina whom introduced me to Dr. Sebi’s Alkaline Diet and Dr. Morse’s Grape Fast and raw foods diet.
That night I made the decision. October 21, 2016 was the day I went raw, alkaline vegan.
I began developing a variety of raw dishes made from fresh, organic ingredients, I started monomealing on fruit regularly, fasting, I adopted herbs and incorporated other holistic practices into my daily life. Immediately I felt my health coming back together. But I’m the kind of person that needs to see the facts and even then, I’m going to dissect the “facts” with research and check the sources. I know that screams deep seeded trauma but hey, it works in this kind of study. Inevitably, I started following a support page of Facebook called, From Hellville to Wellville where I could read other people's experiences. Here is where I met Tasha, the Iridologist. For those who don’t know what Iridology is, Iridology is an alternative medicine technique in which the iris is examined to determine your system’s health. I figured I’d give it a shot since what was happening in my body was undetected in my blood work. Five days later, Tasha did my reading, I was taken back by the results:
Some fungus and parasites in the stomach.
Stomach is over acidic.
Mal-absorption in the bowels.
Thick lymph inside the GI tract walls.
Right kidney not filtering as well as left.
Acids are trapped below the skin.
Thyroid is weak.
Lung and rib weakness with congestion.
Abdominal wall inflammation.
Lower to mid back inflammation.
Pineal gland has a weakness.
Possible female reproductive issues.
Liver is at max capacity, very congested.
Gallbladder weakness and congestion.
Poor circulation in the body.
It was in this moment I learned the effect of processed food on the body and that there's LEVELS to this shit. Vegan is no doubt better than consuming animal products and its byproducts (eggs and dairy) but what's most important is eating in moderation and incorporating more whole foods into the diet. Knowing what I know now, this reading would have been way worse if I was consuming meat but know, processed foods tax the body as well.
[ Damn perfectly breaded Gardein nuggets. Damn Double Stuffed Oreos. ]
The proof was in the reading, it was essential for my health to go to the next level with my diet. I maintained this lifestyle for a little over a year in addition to fasting frequently; I did a 7-day water fast, a 30 day Grape Fast and multiple juice fasts and for the first time in my life I felt what it was like to have a healthy body and mind.
I felt amazing and wanted to see if there were improvements in my systems so I reached back out to Tasha. These were my results for the second Iridology reading done on December 14, 2017:
Big improvement in circulation.
Lymph moving, not restricting blood flow.
GI tract strengthening.
Bronchial/left rib improving.
Skin is filtering.
Body is in more of an alkaline state.
After the second reading, I went fruitarian for 6 months then slowly started introducing raw foods back into my diet. I was healthy.
But then, in January 2019 I got into a car accident and fell on hard times; inevitably, stress got the best of me. I started eating cooked foods again which opened the floodgates to processed food and my addiction.
Sugar is especially a risk for people with low moods, anxiety and stress and was the LAST thing I should have been overindulging in. But guess what, I used those decadent vegan pastries to push everything down. I made my body sick.
I attempted to do multiple fasts but I couldn’t last more than 17 days. I’d have stints of eating just fruit and I tried getting back on a raw food regime but I couldn’t stay consistent and my digestion was all fucked up. I went from eating bad one month to eating clean for a couple months and this vicious cycle lasted for 4 months.
I've gone from eating 95% raw and 5% cooked to 50/50. I’ve modified my diet quite a bit and although 99% of what I eat is plant based, I indulge in non-vegan desserts and processed foods here and there. My health is far from where it was in 2018 and I feel it. Although I’m in a better mental space, I’m still on a journey to heal myself and to get back to what works for my body. This last reading inspired a 30-day grape fast to get back on track. These are the results from September 20, 2019:
Big knee/ leg weakness/inflammation.
Big right kidney weakness.
Abdominal wall weakness.
Some pelvic floor weakness.
Stomach and bowels sluggish.
Digestion a little slow.
Stagnant lymph in the bowel wall.
Some Sulfur present.
Some pocketing in the bowels.
Some inflammation in the neck, mid back, shoulder areas.
Thick congestion in the cerebellum.
Right breast / rib weakness.
Left lung weakness.
[ Damn processed food. Damn pastries. ]
My biggest take away from my healing journey is that it's a never-ending process. We encounter many challenges on a daily basis and it’s not easy, it’ll never be easy because working through addiction is no small feat. Be it sugar, alcohol, sex or fast food; it's what suppresses or enhances our emotions and is it the same for everyone. When it comes to healing, we must not forget that it's our own journey, we go at our own pace and set our own benchmarks; even the smallest change will make a big difference.
In the interim, be very aware that we can invoke a shift in the feelings that accompany our healing by handling them with steady care and awareness and that what we consume will either nourish or create toxins in our bodies. Sickness doesn’t discriminate. I decided to share my story with you because I hope to inspire you to address your own addictions head on and to put your health first, always.
Eat mindfully, be well, do good and heal thyself.
Written By: Jessica York
October 19, 2019